when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
