then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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