Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
