Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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