every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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