I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
