Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
