I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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