Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
sex in a hospital.. check
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
