smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She told me I should be a condom model.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
