How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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