You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
