Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
