I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
