Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
