just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
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