i permit you to call me
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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