I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
