dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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