Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
