If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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