is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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