He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
So many bounce houses so little time
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
