i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Randomize
