I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
