Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
