I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
