Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
