He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
