I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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