I could make wine with my vomit
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
