my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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