Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
You left your phone here
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