Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
