I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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