Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
