its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
