You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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