So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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