rhymes with "ouble enetration"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I'm having to shit out rocks
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