If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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