I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
