absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
