I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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