I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
