I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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