Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize