I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
