so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
