she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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