Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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