Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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