Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
